IF THIS STORY DOESN'T MAKE YOU CRY FROM LAUGHING
SO HARD, LET ME KNOW AND
I'LL PRAY FOR YOU.

THIS IS A STORY ABOUT A COUPLE WHO HAD
BEEN
HAPPILY MARRIED FOR YEARS.

THE ONLY FRICTION IN THEIR MARRIAGE
WAS
THE HUSBAND'S HABIT OF FARTING
LOUDLY EVERY MORNING WHEN HE AWOKE.

THE NOISE WOULD WAKE HIS WIFE AND

THE SMELL WOULD MAKE HER EYES

WATER AND MAKE HER GASP FOR AIR.

EVERY MORNING SHE WOULD PLEAD WITH
HIM TO
STOP RIPPING THEM OFF BECAUSE IT WAS MAKING HER SICK.
HE TOLD HER
HE COULDN'T.STOP IT AND
THAT IT WAS PERFECTLY NATURAL.
SHE TOLD HIM TO
SEE A DOCTOR,
SHE WAS CONCERNED THAT ONE DAY
HE WOULD BLOW HIS GUTS OUT.


THE YEARS WENT BY AND HE CONTINUED TO RIP THEM OUT.
THEN ONE
THANKSGIVING MORNING AS SHE
WAS PR EPARING THE TURKEY FOR DINNER
AND HE
WAS UPSTAIRS SOUND ASLEEP,
SHE LOOKED AT THE INNARDS AND NECK,
GIZZARD,
LIVER AND ALL THE SPARE PARTS
AND A MALICIOUS THOUGHT CAME TO HER.


SHE TOOK THE BOWL AND WENT UPSTAIRS WHERE
HER HUSBAND WAS SOUND
ASLEEP AND,
GENTLY PULLING THE BED COVERS BACK,
SHE PULLED BACK THE
ELASTIC WAISTBAND OF
HIS UNDERPANTS AND EMPTIED THE BOWL
OF TURKEY GUTS
INTO HIS SHORTS

SOME TIME LATER SHE HEARD HER HUSBAND
WAKEN WITH HIS
USUAL TRUMPETING WHICH WAS
FOLLOWED BY A BLOOD CURDLING SCREAM
AND THE
SOUND OF FRANTIC FOOT STEPS
AS HE RAN INTO THE BATH ROOM.
THE WIFE COULD
HARDLY CONTROL HERSELF
AS SHE ROLLED ON THE FLOOR LAUGHING,
TEARS IN HER
EYES!
AFTER YEARS OF TORTURE SHE RECKONED
SHE HAD GOT HIM BACK PRETTY
GOOD..

ABOUT TWENTY MINUTES LATER,
HER HUSBAND CAME DOWSTAIRS IN HIS

BLOODSTAINED UNDERPANTS WITH A
LOOK OF HORROR ON HIS FACE.
SHE BIT
HER LIP AS SHE ASKED
HIM WHAT WAS THE MATTER.

HE SAID, 'HONEY YOU
WERE RIGHT.'
'ALL THESE YEARS YOU HAVE WARNED
ME AND I DIDN'T LISTEN TO
YOU'.

'WHAT DO YOU MEAN?'
ASKED HIS WIFE.

'WELL, YOU ALWAYS
TOLD ME THAT ONE DAY
I WOULD END UP FARTING MY GUTS OUT,
AND TODAY IT
FINALLY HAPPENED.'

BUT BY THE GRACE OF GOD, SOME
VASELINE AND TWO
FINGERS.
I THINK I GOT MOST OF THEM BACK IN.'

good one!