Are you having a jellyfish bad day?
This is a real case. I handled this case when I worked on Longshore Harbor worker comp cases.
If you don't laugh out loud after you read this you are in a coma!
This is even funnier when you realize it's real! Next time you have a
bad day at work ... think of this guy:
Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana .
He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an
e-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station 103.2
On FM dial in Ft. Wayne , Indiana , who was sponsoring a worst job
experience contest. Needless to say, she won.
Hi Angie,
Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother.
Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling
down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you
to make you realize it's not so bad after all. Before I can tell you
what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my
job.
As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit
to the office. It's a wetsuit. This time of year the water is quite
cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel
powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water
out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it
down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose.
Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times
with no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start
working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wetsuit.
This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a
Jacuzzi.
Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to
itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse.
Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out
from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had
happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and
pumped it into my suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back,
the jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my butt
was not as fortunate. When I scratched what I thought was an
itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my
butt. I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over
the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that
he, along with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically.
Needless to say I aborted the dive.
I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water
decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach
the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression.
When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass
helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic,
with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of
cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber.
The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my
butt was swollen shut.
So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much
worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt.
Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job."
Now whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a jellyfish bad day?
